Thirty days of truth -- Day thirteen.

A band or artist that has gotten you through a tough time.


Just so we're clear, yes.... I do know that the following post makes me a loser! :^) In 2007 I graduated from nursing school and everything was going as planned in my life. I got a job as a great hospital, I moved to a new city by myself where I didn't know many people, and I moved into a brand spankin' new condo. After a couple of months of training as a nurse, it was time to take my NCLEX (nursing licensure exam). Unfortunately I had failed it, and my life started to unravel. I lost my job as a result, and I depleted my savings account trying to pay for the brand new condo and other bills while I was unemployed and trying to find work in a bad economy.. I kept trying to pas that stupid exam, but after three failed attempts I decided that I was done with nursing and went back to school to become a teacher. No point sitting around to rot while I was trying to get a grip on my life, right?


So in the fall of 2008, I went back to school. I was a straight A student, as usual, but I wasn't enjoying school and I found out that I didn't really want to be a gym teacher. Sure I love fitness and I love teaching, but not for the rest of my life.. I decided that I was going to finish up the year and then try again to become a nurse because the only thing standing between me and my original goal was the test. I studied my butt off and I took a week long review class to refresh (the Hurst review). Two years out of school and out of the hospital, I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me to be able to pass that thing. I did the live review twice in two different cities, and then I did their online review five times. I was determined, and I had a plan.


Of course I had moments where I doubted myself. Would I be able to do it? Was this too ambitious after being away for so long? Did other people believe in me? I wasn't sure about any of those things, but this was what I wanted. While I was at those review classes, I felt alive again. I loved nursing school and I loved being in the hospital. I felt like I was back in the game and I was focused. Hearing and talking about nursing was great! It helped me prepare and it gave me hope.


To keep on subject, let's talk about the song that helped me through it. As embarrassing as it is, the artist that helped my through this tough time was Miley Cyrus. Yep, go ahead and start laughing.... I don't like her shows and most of the time I think her voice is annoying, but when I would hear her song "The Climb" on the radio, I felt like the words were coming from me. That is how I felt and those were my thoughts! Every time I heard that song I had renewed fear about the future, but also renewed determination. 


I still love this song, and I always sing along (unless someone is with me!). Here are the lyrics in case you've never heard it. =)

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa 

Thirty days of truth -- Day twelve.

Something you never get compliments on.

I am a people pleaser. When someone asks me to do something, I do it because I feel obligated. I mean, who asks people to do stuff if they don't actually want them to do it? That is crazy. I usually put my needs and feelings last so that I can make someone happy, but sometimes it seems like no one notices, and I very rarely get complimented on my willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done or to keep people content.

When people come over, I make sure I have everything on hand that they could possibly want or need, and if I don't have it, I am really at the drop of a hat to go get it.. I want my friends to be comfortable when they come visit so that they will come visit again. When I'm hanging out with someone and we are trying to figure out what to do, I ask them first, because I want them to be happy. If they make no suggestion, I make mine. If they don't like mine, I will continue to offer suggestions until they find something that does appeal to them, even if I don't want to do it. I'm always going out of my way and doing things I don't want to do.

Part of me thinks that everyone should put others first. The golden rule, anyone? I treat others the way I want to be treated, even if I'm not treated nicely in return. Maybe this makes me an idiot. A lot of people take advantage of me, and I usually let them. I am good at confrontation, but I don't enjoy it. I don't like to make people feel bad, but at the same time, I don't want to be treated like dirt just because they know I'll do whatever is asked of me...

I guess I'm not sure why I don't get complimented on my willingness to ask "how high?" when people ask or tell me to jump. It's a strength and a weakness of mine, but I'm still trying to figure out which category to throw it in. Yes, I'm a team player and I'll pick up any shift that needs filling. Yes, I will do the dirty work because you're too lazy to do it yourself.... Hmmmm... Good and bad for sure.

I've never been very good at saying no. I have this voice in the back of my head that says "if you say no, no one will like you." That's sick, but it's the truth. So there you go..... I never get complimented on letting people treat me like a doormat. I never get complimented on my willingness to take charge and get things under control. I almost never get complimented on putting the needs of others ahead of my own.

Thirty days of truth -- Day eleven.

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

My attitude. I don't get upset easily, I handle stress well and I tend to look at situations objectively. When I share a little glimpse into my past with people who know me, they are almost always shocked, and the common response is "I had no idea, you're so positive," or something along those lines. I know that I'm well adjusted. I know that dwelling on the past and the horrible things that have happened to me isn't going to get me anywhere. I'm a go-getter and I want success more than I want anything else. I have to look forward if I plan to get ahead in life...

When I'm overwhelmed and I get another obstacle thrown in my way, I usually think "this is temporary" and I get myself through it. There is no point in getting upset about things that aren't going to matter one hour, one day or one month from now. It's definitely not worth it to get mad or go ballistic about the things that I cannot control. Is getting another patient at work when I'm swamped really worth getting upset about? Is it going to impact my life? No. It might make things completely crazy, but it's not a big deal. It's going to be ok. I just need to do my job.

When I'm running late and I run into traffic, am I going to get there faster if I throw a fit? No. When someone is yelling at me about something I did (or didn't do), are they going to calm down and go away if I yell back? No. Things are a lot smoother when you aren't upset and don't let people get to you. People are dumb.. Just let them get their frustration out and move on. Why should I get upset just because they are upset? Maybe I am one of few that can sit quietly while someone is screaming at me and keep my cool, but I'm good with that. I know that letting them get under my skin isn't going to change anything and it's certainly not going to fix the thing they are screaming about.

Life is better when you have a positive attitude and can laugh about the little things. Everybody just needs to calm down, because this too shall pass. =)