Thirty days of truth -- Day twelve.

Something you never get compliments on.

I am a people pleaser. When someone asks me to do something, I do it because I feel obligated. I mean, who asks people to do stuff if they don't actually want them to do it? That is crazy. I usually put my needs and feelings last so that I can make someone happy, but sometimes it seems like no one notices, and I very rarely get complimented on my willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done or to keep people content.

When people come over, I make sure I have everything on hand that they could possibly want or need, and if I don't have it, I am really at the drop of a hat to go get it.. I want my friends to be comfortable when they come visit so that they will come visit again. When I'm hanging out with someone and we are trying to figure out what to do, I ask them first, because I want them to be happy. If they make no suggestion, I make mine. If they don't like mine, I will continue to offer suggestions until they find something that does appeal to them, even if I don't want to do it. I'm always going out of my way and doing things I don't want to do.

Part of me thinks that everyone should put others first. The golden rule, anyone? I treat others the way I want to be treated, even if I'm not treated nicely in return. Maybe this makes me an idiot. A lot of people take advantage of me, and I usually let them. I am good at confrontation, but I don't enjoy it. I don't like to make people feel bad, but at the same time, I don't want to be treated like dirt just because they know I'll do whatever is asked of me...

I guess I'm not sure why I don't get complimented on my willingness to ask "how high?" when people ask or tell me to jump. It's a strength and a weakness of mine, but I'm still trying to figure out which category to throw it in. Yes, I'm a team player and I'll pick up any shift that needs filling. Yes, I will do the dirty work because you're too lazy to do it yourself.... Hmmmm... Good and bad for sure.

I've never been very good at saying no. I have this voice in the back of my head that says "if you say no, no one will like you." That's sick, but it's the truth. So there you go..... I never get complimented on letting people treat me like a doormat. I never get complimented on my willingness to take charge and get things under control. I almost never get complimented on putting the needs of others ahead of my own.